His Eyes Upon Me
He thinks that I can't feel his gaze on my back. I know that I am painfully naive at times and I realize that my inexperience is often a hindrance, but I am not as innocent as they believe me to be.
"What are you looking at?" I ask over my shoulder.
There is a quick rustle of paper. "Bachelor Mate, but it's not as funny since Wolfina took time off."
"Then why do you bother?" I turn to him. The magazine is upside down.
"I'm bored. Gamma is sleeping and there's nothing to do in this town." He sighs.
"Is that why you're staring?"
He looks up, startled. He didn't expect me to notice. He never imagined that he would be caught. The weight of his stare is not as unfamiliar to me as he thinks. I was trained in many things and there was a price for my training, something even my pick-pocketing skills couldn't pay for.
"I..." there is a flash of guilt with his hesitation. "I see that you're filling out a little. There's some definition to your muscles."
"Do you make it a habit of checking out young boys in bath towels or should I feel flattered?"
He shuffles the paper. With a cough, he sets it aside, eyes averted. "It's not like that Elwood."
"Oh?" I begin to saunter towards him. "It isn't? Then what is it like?"
He doesn't look up. He knows he's been caught and he flinches as I stop before him, perhaps expecting a knife in the gut. He refuses to look up as I stand with my hands on my hips. With a shrug, I drop my towel. His eyes widen and he looks up in shock. I grin when I set my hands on his shoulders and crawl into his lap. His mouth flops open and his jaw works weakly, trying to form words and failing. I chuckle and grab his tie, pulling his mouth towards mine.
With his mouth conveniently open, I forgo innocent kisses and dive in aggressively. He tastes like cinnamon tea. His eyes widen further and his hands fly to my hips. At first, he tries to push me away but I hold tightly to his tie, pressing my chest to his while I kiss him deeply. Fingers curl, digging into my damp skin before he drags me closer.
His kisses are hungry and sloppy. As he presses eagerly into my mouth, I slowly release his tie, running my hand up his chest. His suit hides a perfectly toned body. He looks harmless at first, but he is one of the deadliest men I've ever met. Despite this, I'm not afraid. I know that he'll be careful with me.
Finally, he tears his mouth away from mine, panting heavily. "Elwood, what are you doing?" His voice is strangled.
I rest my forehead against his. "What does it look like I'm doing? Isn't this what you wanted?"
"Shhh." I press a quick kiss to his lips. "I know you've been watching. I know you've been holding back. I'm just letting you know that you don't have to."
He closes his eyes and I can read the thoughts flitting across his usually calm face. He's gathering strength, looking for words. He has to deny it. He needs to turn me away. He must protect me. I bite his lip and enjoy watching him startle.
"It's too late to save me from the bad men." I whisper. "They already got me."
He frowns, his eyes flashing with realization. "Elwood."
I stroke his cheek. "It's all right now. Gamma gave me my wake-up call. He showed me a new way to live."
"But you're still-"
"Not as innocent as you think." I rock my hips into his. "Remember, I can choose with my own will now. You and Gamma gave that to me. So this is what I choose." His eyes sink closed again as I rock against him. "Now Mr. Smith. The question is, what do you choose? You can run. I will move my things into Wolfina's room and we won't speak of this again. Or you can give us what we both want. I know you want this. I can feel it."
"What are you doing to me?" he groans.
"Nothing you don't want." I loosen his tie. He swallows.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
I pull out his tie and let is slide to the floor. "Didn't I tell you already? I made my choice. All that's left is for you to make yours." My fingers start working on the buttons of his shirt.
His fingers grip my hips painfully. I wonder if he's trying to leave bruises. I think that he's fighting with himself. I continue to unbutton his shirt. A white undershirt stands in the way of me and his skin. His indecision continues to keep him motionless, or maybe it's his morals. Either way, I get impatient and begin to squirm from his grasp. His fingernails dig into my skin as he drags my body closer to him.
"Don't go," he rasps.
I smile and I lean in to kiss him. "Don't worry. I wasn't going far." I move back and succeed in sliding from his lap. I kneel before him and reach for the button of his pants. He watches closely as I pull open the button and grab the zipper. His breathing speeds up when I part the material. There is a wet spot spreading across the blue and white striped boxers. I rub the spot with my finger and he moans.
I ignore his moan and slowly unbutton his boxers, parting the soft cotton to free his erection. "Impressive," I whisper as I run my hand down the hot skin. C.T. Smith is just naturally better at things than other people. His body is no exception. He moans as my fingers explore and he gasps as my tongue tastes.
"Shhh, we don't want Gamma to come in here. I don't think he'd take this very well." In fact, I imagine that someone would end up quite dead and it's in my best interests to have both of them alive. Smith nods and I lean in, slowly tasting him before sliding my mouth over the head of his erection. There's a muffled sound above me, but I ignore it in favor of showing him a few of my acquired skills.
His hands fall into my hair, holding me in place. He doesn't push. If anything, he's hesitant, but I can feel him urging me on. His breathing speeds up with the pace that I set and soon his hips begin to thrust. With a final suck, I pull away, licking at my lips.
"What?" He looks down at me. No longer a picture of bland perfection, he looks confused and disheveled.
I climb into his lap, once more straddling his hips. I reach back and take a hold of his slick erection. He gasps, his hands reaching out to take my arms. "Elwood no!"
"Why not?" I ask with a pout.
"It's not that easy. You're not prepared." He says, pulling me into a tight hug.
As I rest in his embrace, I can't help but smile. I turn my head and kiss his neck. "You are sweeter than you let on, but don't worry about me. I'm ready for you." I can feel another question bubbling up and I silence it with my lips. "I just came from the bath. I am ready for you," I assure him quietly.
His erection twitches in excitement. I relax my muscles as I slide from his embrace and slowly begin to take him into me. I can't help the small whimper that slides past my lips as he begins to fill me. He is larger than average and I am still small. Despite my experience and how much I prepared, it still hurts. It is a fuzzy mixture of pain and pleasure that crackles along my nerve endings. He wraps his arms around me, taking hold of my hips and slowing my descent..
"Just take it slow," he whispers as he lowers his head and claims my lips.
I kiss back, desperate for the distraction that his kisses provide. It takes a slow sweet eternity before I am resting in his lap. The pleasure and pain are warring with each other and he is blessedly still, allowing me to adjust. His hands slide over my skin, now exploring what he was afraid to touch before. Even though it causes ripples of pain, I can't help but squirm as his hands explore sensitive and ticklish spots.
"Smith," I hiss as callused fingers pinch at my nipple.
"It's only fair," he murmurs back. One hand slides over my stomach and down through a sprinkling of fine black hair to tease my erection. I bite my lip, holding in a groan as he touches me. He is relentless and finally I release the cry I've been holding back. He smirks. I glare. He is trying to turn the tables, but I will have none of it. I clench my muscles around him and rise up at the same moment. He catches his breath and I push down once more. The strangled cry he makes brings a pleased smirk to my face.
"You are evil," he hisses, claiming my lips.
I don't bother with words. Actions work just as well as I prove to him exactly how evil I can be. Not to be outdone, he grips my hips, thrusting up at angles that make my breath catch oddly in my throat. I can't keep my eyes open as stars begin to flicker across my eyelids. A hand slides from my hip to stroke me and I cry out. My body shudders as I come in his hand. Even with my eyes closed, I know that he's smirking with satisfaction as I slump against him. I clench my muscles around him and he lets out a strangled groan. I smile, biting his shoulder as I do it again. His hips jerk up and soon he lets loose a muffled cry as my body tingles with warmth.
I rest against him and close my eyes. His hands begin to drift over my body once more. His fingers gently tease my ass, as if confirming that the connection between us is real. I nuzzle him, turning to look up with a lazy contented smile. My eyes are drooping, a long boring day and our exertions make me sleepy. His eyes trace over me.
"You look pleased," he says pressing his lips to mine.
"I am pleased," I reply, turning a mere press of lips into a deep kiss.
"You also look tired."
"Then maybe you should take me to bed," I murmur.
"Maybe I should clean you up first."
I shrug. "Whatever suits you."
He's gentle as he slowly pulls out of me. It leaves me feeling open and empty and I lean into him. He kisses my forehead and collects me in his arms, carrying me to the bathroom. He sets me on the counter and tenderly cleans me. I can't help but compare it to all the times before. It was never like this. It wasn't something to enjoy. It wasn't something intimate. It was merely a business transaction where I was the goods and they were the buyer. It was a rude introduction to the world of adults before my time.
"What are you thinking?" He asks, running the warm damp cloth over my stomach.
I look up at him, watching his face while he thoughtfully cleans off my skin. "Is this what it's like to be lovers?" He looks up startled. "Because," I continue, "I think it would be nice to be lovers. I've never had one before and I know that I'm young but I'd rather have a lover, be a lover, than be a toy."
He drops the wash cloth and wraps his arms around me tightly. "Elwood, you're not a toy."
I nod, returning his tight hug. "So, we're lovers then?"
"Yes. Yes, we're lovers." He runs his hands through my hair, lifting my face to meet his as he kisses me sweetly.
I smile happily, snuggling into him. He slowly eases off to finish cleaning and then pulls me up into his arms again and carries me to bed. I stretch out on his sheets as he start to undress.
"Do you want something to wear for bed?" He asks as he folds his clothes and puts them aside.
"Just some underwear," I murmur, not even raising my head from the pillow. He walks over to my bag and pulls out a pair of underwear. They have little stars on them and he looks them over curiously. "My sister bought them for me."
"Ah." He nods and brings them over, sliding them onto my legs and waiting for me to wiggle into them. "Anything else? A glass of water, a lullabye? Maybe a good night kiss?"
"Just shut up and get in bed," I grumble, dragging myself under the sheets. He chuckles as he moves to put his pajamas on. A minute later, he joins me between the sheets of the narrow hotel bed. He moves in close, pulling me into him. I squirm around, getting comfortable. Once I'm settled, I look up at him. "How about that good night kiss now?"
He smiles as he leans down and kisses me. It's a long lazy kiss that leaves us both smiling. "Good night Elwood," he says quietly.
"Good night," I reply, letting my eyes slip shut. Even as I drift off to sleep, I can feel his eyes on me. My lover. C. T. Smith.
That fic took me a long time. I had so many issues writing in first person. Ugh!