By: For-Chan
Disclaimer: I donít own them ;_;
Notes: Finally, I have Newlywed theme #7 Matrimonial Quarrel. I started this one twice and ended up writing a completely different story than I originally intended!

Archer walked into the bathroom and frowned. Kimblee always left it so soggy. He pulled out some clean towels and carefully set them on the lid of the toilet. As he unbuttoned his shirt, he pulled aside the shower curtains to get the water running. He froze at the sight of the large hairy spider at the bottom of the tub. He stared at its unmoving body and growled. It wasn't a spider so innocently sitting there, it was another one of Kimblee's god damned hairballs! Archer marched out of the bathroom and into the living room where Kimblee was lounging on the couch in a towel.

"If you can't clean your god damned hair out of the bathtub when you're done showering, I would be more than happy to cut if off for you!" He snapped.

Kimblee looked up at him. "C'mon baby. I just got out. It's easier to pick up when it's dry."

"I don't want to wait till it's dry. I want to take a shower now!"

"Then pull it out."

"It's your fucking hair!" Archer snarled.

Kimblee lifted an eyebrow at him. "Calm down there honey buns. It's only a little hair."

"Only a little hair? It's everywhere! It's on the carpet. It's on the bed. It gets in the laundry. It gets in our food. It clogs the drains. I have your hair in my fucking underwear! It's a menace! You need to cut it off!"

Kimblee looked offended. "It's a menace? It's only hair."

"Exactly! It's only hair! So it shouldn't matter whether it goes down to your ass or is cropped close to your head," Archer pressed.

"That's ridiculous. My hair is a part of me. Besides, if I wanted to look like everyone else, I'd have shaved my head off a long time ago. Thing is, I don't want to be like everyone else. We both know I'm not."

"That's certainly the truth," Archer muttered.

"Come here." Kimblee held his hand out.

Archer looked at him suspiciously.

"Come on, sit over here." He patted the couch.

Archer stepped over and sat down.

Kimblee shoved a hairbrush into Archer's hand. "Here, brush it out for me." He turned his back to Kimblee, offering him the damp fall of hair that covered his back.

Archer stared at the hairbrush and then at Kimblee's back. "Are your arms suddenly broken?"

"No." Kimblee shrugged. "My hair just needs a little positive attention."

Archer snorted.

"Start at the bottom and work your way up. It's the best way to avoid knots."

Archer glared at the back of his head. He deliberately set the hairbrush at the top of Kimblee's scalp and yanked down. Kimblee yelped as it hit a snag and tugged his head back.

"Hey! What are you trying to do? Make me go bald!"

"You say that like it wouldn't be an improvement."

"Shut up and brush. And be careful this time, the more you yank out, the more we have to pick up afterwards."

Archer glared. After a moment of unsuccessfully trying to burn a hole into Kimblee's back, he began to brush the damp hair again. As advised, he began at the bottom, slowly working his way up. It took him a minute to remove the large knot he'd made by yanking the brush through, but soon Kimblee's hair was smooth and shining. The act of pulling the brush through became a soothing exercise and the occasional brush of his hand over the smooth strands was a secret delight that he'd never admit.

Eventually, Kimblee turned and wrapped his hand around the brush. Archer looked up, surprised at the sudden stop in his brushing. Kimblee's lips met his and he found himself kissed quite soundly. Kimblee reclaimed the brush and stood up.

"Well, my hair's dry, so let's see about those hairballs," Kimblee announced. He sauntered off and Archer couldn't help but watch the smooth swish of hair over his back as he went. Maybe the could keep that mop around for just a little longer.

Archer shifted in his chair. He'd been uncomfortable all morning. At first, the sensation had been mild, but throughout the day it intensified and he could no longer focus on his work. He got up and made the trip to the rest room. Once in a stall, he opened his pants. He reached into his boxers and pulled out a long brown hair. That damn hair had been tickling his ass all morning. Staring at the evil strand, he growled. He was definitely going to shave Kimblee's head when he got home!


Let me tell you, this one comes straight from experience. My hair goes past my bum and I am forever getting yelled at for the hairballs in the tub >_> My brother used to complain about my hair getting tangled in his boxers in the dryer. It really does infiltrate everything! So, while my hair and Kimblee's are not quite the same, I figure it's close enough.

Anyway, my next theme is cooking. What kill they be cooking up? Trouble? Food? Sex? Heck, even I don't know yet, but stay tuned for the next exciting installment of "The Newlyweds!" XD

Next - Kiss the Cook