By: For-Chan
Disclaimer: Even in this form, I don't own these characters.
Warnings: Yuri! *gasps* Yes! Yuri! It's Archer and Kimblee as women. If you're totally turned off by that, don't come in! Complete A/U (has to be to make them women eh?). Vague R-ishness
Notes: thanks to a plot bunny from me that got volleyed around, I ended up with a Archer/Kimblee yuri plot bunny! It was persistent too, so thanks to me not sleeping, you get the product of said bunny. Feel free to lay some blame at the feet of tomoe_daeva and silver_drake. Oh yes, Frank gets to be Frances because Daeva chose it over Francesca. XD
Summary: Put through the gender blender, here's a look at female Archer and female Kimberly's relationship.

Frances moaned, her hand swatting at the sensation that had dragged her from sleep. Rather than stop, it only continued, a soft tickling touch that skirted over her exposed breast.

"Stop," she grumbled, swatting at the person she knew was responsible for waking her.

The person laughed as they dodged her hand. "It's getting hard," Kimberly replied, brushing the ends of her hair over Frances' nipple.

"I'm trying to sleep here," Frances grumbled as she turned onto her side.

"And I'm trying to get some." Kimberly snuggled up behind her. Soft breasts pushed into her back as arms pulled their bodies close. Kimberly's hands settled on Frances' breasts, kneading softly. A small thrust of hips had Kimberly rubbing against her and purring happily.

"Why don't you ever listen?" Frances hissed smacking at the thigh snuggled up to hers.

"I listen. I just don't obey, Colonel sir." Kimberly nibbled on her ear.

"You're such a bitch." France pulled away, turning on the bed to pin Kimberly to the sheets.

"Oh, are we going to play rough?" Kimberly asked, as Frances' long nails dug into her shoulders.

"We're not going to play at all," Frances insisted as she stared down at the other woman. Kimberly's long brown hair was splayed across the pillow and her golden eyes were sparkling with mischief. At her response, Kimberly pouted.

"Who's a bitch?"

"I never claimed that I wasn't." Frances shrugged. "I'm a bitch and proud of it." She sat back, stretching her arms behind her head.

"You're also a cock tease," Kimberly sighed, her eyes drinking in the sight of her lover showing off her body in the warm morning light.

Frances' lips quirked up. "But you don't have a cock, dear."

"I know, but if I did, it would be weeping right now." Her hand was drifting down to rub the hair between her legs.

Frances reached out and stopped Kimberly's hand. "If you had a cock, it would have fallen off by now from overuse."

Kimberly pouted. "I can't help it if I have such a sexy girlfriend that she makes me horny." Kimberly turned her hand, capturing Frances' and pulling it down between her legs.

"Breathing makes you horny," Frances said flatly, but she didn't draw away. She ran her fingernails through the dark patch of hair between Kimberly's legs. One finger dipped down dangerously and Kimberly whimpered. At the sound, Frances smiled. Her hand changed direction, skirting up Kimberly's smooth stomach and cupping her breast.

"Frances," Kimberly whined.

"Yes?" Frances paused, looking up at her inquiringly.

Kimberly groaned. "Don't tease."

Frances pinched her nipple and laughed. "You're telling me not to tease? I'm only giving you a taste of your own medicine."

"I don't want medicine! I want to get laid!" Kimberly pulled her down and them rolled over. She ended upon top with Frances' face stuck between her breasts. Kimberly yelped and jumped back as Frances bit her breast.

"Are you trying to suffocate me?" Frances glared up at her.

Kimberly frowned. She rubbed at the angry teeth marks on her breast. With a sigh, she rolled off of Frances. "Never mind." She reached for an elastic on the bedside table and pulled her hair back into a high ponytail. "Just go back to sleep."

Frances glared at her back. "You think I can sleep now?"

Kimberly shrugged as she stood. She picked up a silk robe from the floor and pulled it on.

"Don't pull that passive aggressive bullshit on me," Frances growled as she stood up and grabbed Kimberly's arm.

"I said forget it! I'm not in the mood anymore." Kimberly pulled her arm away and stormed off into the bathroom.

Frances sighed angrily. Goddamn women! That's why she should have stuck with men. Men were predictable. They were ruled by their dicks and as such, were easily controlled. Women, on the other hand, were ruled by their moods. They were often irrational and unpredictable and a pain in the ass to deal with. She could never stand the sudden outbursts of weak emotions that so many women were prone to. Kimberly had been different.

They had met in Ishbal. Kimberly was one of the State Alchemists that had been called in to help with the annihilation campaign. Kimberly J. Zolf, the Crimson Alchemist. She had been so composed, even a little cold, though she had an aura of sarcastic humor about her and a sharp tongue. As some of the few women on the battlefield, they had been put in the same tent. They had gotten along well. Kimberly had simply lacked many of the traits she disliked in her fellow women. It had been entirely too easy to fall into bed with her. That was where Kimberly often revealed her strange sense of fun. Being with Kimberly has certainly never been boring, but sometimes it was still a roller coaster. She often had to remind herself that whatever else Kimberly was, she was still a woman.

With that in mind, she followed her lover into the bathroom. Kimberly was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, glaring at her feet. She didn't look up as Frances walked in, she just dug her toes into the navy blue rug at her feet and stayed silent. Frances crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the door frame. Eventually, Kimberly looked up.

"I'm sorry I flipped out. It's almost that time."

Frances nodded. "I'm sorry I bit you. I know they're a bit sensitive now."

Kimberly rubbed the bite. "That fucking hurt."

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

Kimberly looked up and grinned. "Don't think that just one kiss will do."

Frances pulled away from the door frame, walking over and offering Kimberly her hand. Kimberly reached out and let Frances pull her up. She leaned in, pressing against Frances. Frances locked her blue gaze with Kimberly's as she wound her arms around Kimberly's waist. "I'll give you as many kisses as it takes." She brushed their lips together in a slow and lingering kiss as she began to work off her penance.

There, my penance is now paid for starting such an evil plot bunny! The beautiful art was drawn by the wonderful Daeva.