Not Far to Seek
By: Missfortune
Disclaimer: Historical figures, copyrighted portrayals that I choose to manipulate but don't own.
Warnings: Hot steamy NC-17 lemon.
Notes: This story is based on the characterization of Mary Renault in her book Fire From Heaven. It was inspired by the quote below. You don't have to have read the book to understand and there are not any major spoilers. I just really wanted to do this and look, I couldn't even do a proper PWP it got all prose-y and deep. Ah well, it's not so bad, I hope you enjoy.
Dedication: This one is dedicated to Talon who melted repeatedly through my lemon and put off a night of play for me to churn this out. Means a lot to me, thanks, much smooches ^_^!!


"Meantime, he felt a deep wish at once to make someone happy. Luckily he had not far to seek."
- Mary Renault, Fire from Heaven

Alexander lay, staring into the darkness of the night. The urge to please, to make somebody happy was deep within him. He had not far to seek. He had merely to turn to Hephaistion, already lying comfortably in his bed providing Alexander with simple companionship. Some time ago he had denied him to ever be closer, wishing not to be like his father with his succession of men and women moving in and out of his bed. He did not want to hurt his friend, whom he held so dear.

They were like one soul, one heart and he had simply refused to become like Philip. However, he'd evolved since then, becoming more realistic in his views. He was not like his father. He had given Hephaistion all that he could give in the spiritual sense, but there was more still. Perhaps there would be others for both of them, but he could clearly see that it would be inevitable that they drift back to one another. Like a pebble falls to the earth when thrown into the air, so too would he fall back to his even-tempered friend after spending time with his head high in the business of kings.

He turned, studying Hephaistion's familiar outline in the darkness. His complexion was darker than Alexander's own, skin light bronze, hair dark as night and highlighted in deep tones of blue and royal purple when hit with light. He was taller than Alexander and yet of a compact build, kept fit and slender. All of him was toned to perfection, his body shaped by practice and drills, his mind shaped by the finest tutors along side the heir.

His best feature, in Alexander's opinion, was his absolute loyalty, his overwhelming love. He held a love beyond compare for Alexander. It was different from that of his mother or any of his close friends or companions. He loved the person that Alexander was deep down inside. He loved the soul that resided within the body, not the shell of the prince. Hephaistion knew him and loved him for what he was, not what he'd be or could become.

He leaned into Hephaistion, lips brushing his friend's cheek. Hephaistion reacted with a small smile in the darkness, such shows being commonplace between the two friends. It wasn't until another kiss fell, this time feathering across his lips, that he sensed something different.

"Alexander?" His voice was a hesitant whisper. It was as though he was afraid, that it was a dream, some cruel trick. Alexander embraced his friend, lips once more planted on Hephaistion's.

A trembling hand on his shoulder pushed him back. "Alexander stop. Why are you doing this? You had agreed that I would not become one of your succession. I will hold your heart, if only in the spiritual sense."

Alexander frowned. He could feel the sadness rolling off his friend. Why had he failed to see this before? He had decided that by not allowing anything physical to develop between them, he'd been sparing Hephaistion pain. It seemed instead that by rejecting him, he was also hurting him. With Hephaistion sure that Alexander would keep to his word, his sudden intimate actions were being interpreted as some hoax.

"Hephaistion. What I tell you now shall hear no other ears but yours." Alexander traced one of Hephaistion's ears with a finger, brushing back some strands of midnight colored hair. "I think that I was wrong."

"Wrong? About what?" The tremble in Hephaistion's voice was obvious. He was nervous, trapped beneath Alexander with no escape. He felt cornered, provoked and pained.

Alexander's hand traveled up Hephaistion's cheek, his finger gliding gently over the trembling bottom lip. "I was wrong about my intentions with you. Though I would not hurt you by truly loving another, I can also not do so by not loving you. Tonight I shall mend the situation I have put us in. Tonight I will make you happy." With those words, Alexander again leaned down for a kiss. He took Hephaistion's lip lightly between his teeth and nibbled, his tongue tasting the barest remnants of their dinner wine and a flavor that was completely Hephaistion's own.

Hephaistion gasped softly as Alexander kissed him. He was still in shock, Alexander's words tumbling over one another within his head. The kiss deepened further, drawing his attention out of his head and to the face above him. Alexander's tongue and managed to slip between Hephaistion's lips and was now exploring the insides of his mouth. Hephaistion's eyes fluttered shut. He felt as if he was the luckiest man on earth in that single moment, and yet again doubt was creeping over him. Alexander had made it clear that their relationship would go no further. He himself had acknowledged that to get more from Alexander he would have to be immortal to even have a hope of going further.

Again he pushed Alexander back, regretting it as he did so, but determined just the same. "Alexander, stop. If it is companionship you seek. There are many men and boys just beyond these doors that will gladly fill your needs." Hephaistion turned away as he spoke, not being able to look at Alexander as he turned him to another's bed.

"Do you think so little of me? That I would really use you just for pleasure's sake?" Alexander questioned softly.

"No!" Hephaistion turned back to Alexander, his eyes wide. "No I would never think such a thing! You know that I love you and trust you completely. But it is for that reason that I am now lost. This contradicts what you previously expressed to me. I think that surely it must be a trick from Morpheus. I am truly asleep and you are but a vision whispering honeyed words into my vulnerable ear."

"Do I feel like a dream to you?" Alexander's hand slid down Hephaistion's chest, caressing his skin as he began to softly nibble on his earlobe.

Hephaistion's breath began to quicken. "No."

"Do dreams do this?" Alexander's hand slid past the breechcloth Hephaistion wore and skirted his thigh.

"No."

"Do you doubt me?" His nails raked lightly across Hephaistion's skin.

"No." Hephaistion's breathe was becoming quicker, while his answers became softer, his eyes wide as he stared up at Alexander.

"Do you want me to continue?" A fine golden brow arched in question, his eyes drilling into Hephaistion's even in the darkness of the small room.

"Yes." It was a mere breathy exhalation, but that was all Alexander needed. One hand captured Hephaistion's face, drawing it nearer to his own as he again claimed his friend's mouth, his tongue hot and eager to the shy timidity of Hephaistion's. Hephaistion felt as if he were being swallowed by the sun. Alexander was so wild and raw, he had to fight not to be intimidated, but to participate. He turned into Alexander, melding their mouths together, tongues sweeping across each other eagerly. An arm wrapped around Alexander's shoulder, but it was pushed back down to the bed. Hephaistion looked up hesitantly.

Alexander smiled. "I am not rejecting you." He said with a soft kiss to the corner of Hephaistion's mouth. "I merely wish to pleasure you. Let me make you happy. I will do the work." With another soft kiss, he pushed Hephaistion flat onto the bed. He straddled Hephaistion's hips, chuckling to himself when his friend's erection brushed against him, causing the teen beneath him to moan.

Once settled, he placed his arms on either side of Hephaistion, leaning in for a chaste kiss. It was followed by a series of such kisses, which trailed down his jaw to his neck where Alexander took his time to taste the skin. Hephaistion's skin tasted of sweat, sun and spice mixed with the bathwater they had shared after dinner, one of the few luxuries they indulged in during the time of siege. He lapped at the skin, sucking softly in places and pulling soft noises from Hephaistion before he continued his downward travels.

Kisses across the collarbone lead him to the firm chest with two dusky nipples standing ready for his attention. He leaned in, capturing one small peak in his mouth, his teeth closing delicately around it. Hephaistion moaned softly, his chest pushing up as Alexander's tongue began to tease his nipple, a hand gently kneading the other. He was amazed that such a simple action could bring so much pleasure. He watched Alexander's silhouette as his head lifted and moved to the other nipple again biting softly and teasing with his tongue.

Hephaistion squirmed, fighting to keep his hands down and not bury them in Alexander's burnt golden hair. Instead, he gripped the sheets beneath him and watched. After a moment, Alexander moved on, his tongue trailed to the center of Hephaistion's chest and drew a slow leisurely line down to his belly button. Like a bird of prey, he circled the small indent surrounded by a light spattering of fine dark hairs. His tongue delved in, eliciting a strange squeak from Hephaistion and Alexander chuckled.

He continued to slide down Hephaistion's body, resuming the path with his tongue, but skirting around the ache between Hephaistion's legs. Alexander took up his thigh and pressed small kisses to the firm flesh, his breath mere inches away from where Hephaistion wanted it. His friend's tongue traced intricate designs into his skin like a brand. It was the most pleasant torture Hephaistion had ever suffered, but it wasn't enough, now that they had started, he needed more.

"Please."

Alexander stopped, looking up. Hephaistion could feel the mischievous smile on his lips. "Please what?"

He panted softly. "Please more."

"More what?"

Hephaistion whimpered. "Anything, everything!"

"Everything?" A pleased smile radiated through the darkness. He crawled up, his lips pressing hungrily against Hephaistion's. There was a slight shuffling as Alexander drew something from the bedside table and then pulled away. Hephaistion panted softly, licking at his moist swollen lips. Running his fingers down Hephaistion's chest, Alexander resumed his position between his friend's legs. He spread the muscled thighs further, lifting Hephaistion's legs to bend just slightly at the knees. Then Hephaistion heard a jar opening. The pleasant scent of sandalwood filled the balmy air.

Hephaistion knew what was coming next. Once when he was younger, he had stumbled upon the rape of a boy not much older than he had been. It scared him. He hadn't known at the time that not all sex was like what he'd witnessed. He had since learned the difference, but the images still haunted him and he couldn't help but tense. Alexander noticed the changed immediately. He touched Hephaistion's inner thigh with gentle fingertips, feeling the muscles bunch as he readied for flight.

"Why do you tense?" He continued to stroke Hephaistion's thigh in the same soothing manner he used with his horse when frightened. "Am I going too fast? Do you wish for me to stop?"

"N-no. I'm fine." Hephaistion lied. This was what he'd always wanted; he wasn't going to let a little fear get in the way.

"You are lying." Alexander looked down at Hephaistion with a frown. "What is wrong Hephaistion? What do you fear?"

Hephaistion trembled at the soft understanding tone. "Pain. I am afraid of the pain." He answered truthfully, looking away.

The sheets shifted and Hephaistion's face was drawn back gently by Alexander's hand. Their faces were inches apart. "I would never hurt you Hephaistion," Alexander whispered, their lips nearly touching. "You have nothing to fear. Remember, I am going to make you happy, no pain, just pleasure. So relax." He placed a gentle kiss on Hephaistion's lips. "I will take care of you tonight."

The words were so sweet, Hephaistion fairly melted beneath them, his head nodding in acceptance, black hair falling into his eyes. Alexander swept it away behind his ear and gave him another kiss. This time when Alexander took up his former position, Hephaistion was relaxed, though still nervous of the new experience. But he trusted Alexander, who appeared to have some idea of what he was doing. So he laid back and watched the dark silhouette as the jar was once again picked up.

Alexander lifted one of Hephaistion's legs and placed it on his steady shoulder. A moment later Hephaistion felt a warm slick finger circling his small entrance. The muscles clenched at the odd feeling, but soon relaxed as the slow circling and light pressure became more pleasurable. Once Alexander felt that Hephaistion was ready he gently pressed in, pushing at the tight muscles as they enveloped the tip of his finger. The only sound in the room was their soft breathing accented by the sounds of the encamped men moving about just beyond the walls.

Hephaistion shifted and Alexander continued to press inside, working in the length of an oiled finger. Hephaistion's breath caught. It didn't hurt and wasn't altogether unpleasant, he was just unused to the pressure. Alexander took his time, his other hand softly petting Hephaistion with his free hand, pulling small sighs and gasps from his friend. He smiled and nipped playfully at Hephaistion's ankle as his fingers increased from one to two.

Hephaistion was beginning to moan, not just because of Alexander's hand playing up and down his erection, but because of the pleasant tingles that he was getting from the fingers inside him. He felt like an instrument that Alexander was playing with perfect pitch. His touches served only to enflame Hephaistion, making him squirm and beg softly.

A third finger was added, stretching him open more. It stung a little, but it was a dull burn compared to the fire within him. He wasn't sure how much more teasing he could take. His fists clenched into the sheets as his head slowly shook back and forth, spreading his dark hair like an inky stain across the pillow. Small cracks in the walls of the shed not covered by cloth let in flickering lines of light from campfires. In the eye-straining light, Hephaistion could just make out a fierce glitter in Alexander's eyes. It was then his fingers withdrew, leaving Hephaistion feeling strangely vacant.

"Are you ready?" The words were husky, barely above a whisper, but Hephaistion heard them as they sent a fine shiver down his spine.

"Yes." His reply was equally soft, but firm and sure. He was ready. He wanted Alexander.

"Then come here." Alexander tugged on his arm until Hephaistion was in a sitting position. He had no chance to ask questions as Alexander's mouth was upon his. Suddenly he found himself in Alexander's lap, his legs on either side of his waist and Alexander's erection pressing tightly against his entrance. Alexander continued to devour his mouth, tongue sweeping in to claim his mouth and completely opposite of the gentle movements he was using to enter Hephaistion.

Hephaistion bit his lip, expecting pain, even a little, but Alexander had been thorough, and there was only the lingering tight stretching sensation, but no actual pain. As Alexander slid inside him, his erection brushed against some spot that his fingers had not. A gasping moan escaped his throat and Alexander thrust his hips lightly, bringing forth another strangled sound of surprise.

"Do you like that?" Alexander murmured in his ear, tongue tracing his lobe.

"Yes!" Hephaistion nodded his head as he wrapped his arms tightly around Alexander's back.

Hephaistion could feel Alexander's grin against his neck. Alexander's hands were wrapped under Hephaistion's thighs where they gripped his ass tightly, holding him open and drawing him upward. Alexander's hips drew back and then surged forward as Hephaistion was pulled back onto Alexander's erection. Hephaistion's own hips snapped forward, his erection brushed against his friend's abdomen and he groaned softly. This was nothing like pain, nothing like he'd feared and more than he'd ever imagined. It was slow and drawn out, each stroke torturous and teasing, but he'd have it no other way.

At some point, the world seemed to spin and Hephaistion found himself on his back with Alexander hovering over him. His mouth crashed down on Hephaistion hungrily, sucking out his tongue to play a fierce game before moving to nip at his jaw. All the while his hips never faltered, continued their smooth inward pumping, brushing all the right places just enough to drive him wild, but give him little release. Now that their positions had changed, Hephaistion was left with less friction, and it was maddening. He whimpered with need.

"Touch me." He finally gasped desperately. "Please touch me."

He didn't have to ask twice. Alexander was perfectly attentive. His lips traveled over Hephaistion's exposed throat as one hand wrapped firmly around his erection. Hephaistion whimpered as a thumb rubbed him lightly then the whole hand began a slow tight slide down to the base. From there it moved up, gliding easily with the sweat that had built between them, milking reactions out of him, whimpers, groans and even a deep guttural purr. The purr drew a rich chuckle from Alexander's throat, but Hephaistion had cut it off by tightening his muscles around Alexander.

Their rhythm was no longer smooth, with Hephaistion alternately tightening around Alexander and their hips bucking together almost frantically. Hephaistion's hands were clenched in Alexander's shoulders hard enough to bruise the lighter skin, but neither of them cared. They were lost in the tide of passion laid out over the already strong emotions they held for each other. The sensations humming through Alexander's body were incredible, but in the end it was the look in Hephaistion's eyes that really swept him away.

Their faces were pressed together, hot breathe mingling together as they panted, sweaty strands of hair sticking to their faces. Hephaistion was kissing Alexander with the desperation of a drowning man. Their hips clashed, bringing resounding waves of pleasure. Alexander's hand was bringing release closer and closer to the surface. Hephaistion's throat felt almost raw from the sounds he'd been making almost continually. He was sure that his voice would be gone by morning, but he didn't really care. He didn't need a voice to follow Alexander into battle. He needed only to fight, to protect the one most precious to him. He looked up at Alexander, reminding himself that he'd follow him to Hades and beyond, wherever was required, he would go.

Alexander seemed to freeze for a moment, and then he moved faster, desperation fueling his movements. It was too much. Hephaistion cried out, hands definitely bruising Alexander's shoulders as he gripped him. His cry died out, but his mouth stayed open to continue silently as his hips jerked up, spilling his pleasure between their bodies. Alexander's eyes narrowed in pleasure as he groaned. It was a deep rumbling sound that made Hephaistion quiver and then warmth flooded him. The feeling of completion washed over him like a lazy summer day. After the frantic buildup and intense release he was left feeling completely limp.

Apparently Alexander felt the same way since he had collapsed onto Hephaistion, their chests heaving almost in perfect timing. Alexander's hand brushed limp black strands of hair out of Hephaistion's face. They simply stared into each other's eyes, no words passing between them as none were needed. Alexander slowly withdrew from Hephaistion's body. He kissed his friend's forehead and then got out of the bed. He returned with a wet cloth to clean them both and then dropped it on the floor.

Climbing back into the bed, he pulled Hephaistion into his arms. He nestled close to Alexander wondering if his friend could feel the joy radiating from his skin. He really hoped so because he knew his voice was indeed useless, but it seemed that Alexander understood as he kissed Hephaistion's lips and then both eyelids, telling him to sleep. He fell into a tired but sated slumber snuggled close to Alexander. Alexander laid in the darkness listening to the random sounds of the camp mingled with Hephaistion's slow breathing.

He ran his fingers through the damp black hair lovingly as he thought about tomorrow. Tomorrow he would make a sacrifice to the gods, for surely it was their doing that he had Hephaistion in his life. He was able to make Hephaistion happy, and in doing so and given himself a rare gift, one that he would never let go. With his last thoughts lingering on the person who was closest to him in all the world, Alexander finally let sleep claim him.

The End


There we go, that wasn't so painful was it? What did you think? Good? Bad? Sucked the big one? Drop me a line cause feedback is like oxygen, a requirement of life. ^_^!